buzzfeedfood:

how to make all the best things

lovethyhippie:

beyonceunofficial:

left is summer looks and right is “let me show u why i don’t “comb every morning” white ho”

omg!

moonsads:

I want to scream at everyone who has put me down and made me second guess myself and who has gone behind my back and fuck you for all the negativity you’ve brought upon me fuck you

(Source: versteur)

krocatoo:

Having to google internet slang your friend is using because you have no idea what the fuck it means.

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michaelfassyfastbender:

-

Friend: go ask
Me: no you go ask
Friend: no you
Me: fine can i have ketchup

urbanfuck:

urbanfuck:

urbanfuck:

anal sneezes are cute as shit

sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time

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this is not what i want to be remembered for

mushroomsugar:

*writes “like” on a cigarette and puts it in my mouth*

It’s a simile.

jaclcfrost:

the whole concept of flirting is just lost on me most of the time really. whenever someone is like “oh they were flirting with you” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “were you flirting with them?” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “oh you totally were flirting with them!” i’m just like. what. what is flirting. what is going on. what. i have no idea what’s going on. what

(Source: jeffblimissylar)

aatroxop:

toastradamus:

shipping is disgusting you should all be ashamed of yourselves

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fartgallery:

lionkitten:

fartgallery:

dont waste ur time reading this post. go paint a tree, hlep the elderly cross the street, skip down the road, throw a rock in the beach, take life by the tits and milk it

that post was definitely worth reading

UR NOT MILKING THE TITS OF LIFE

theindependentvigilante:

darkwater-smidge:

So I learned from my friend that coconut water can be used as an emergency blood transfusion, and of course my first thought was “So, can a vampire drink coconut water?”

and of course we had this idea of these tropical vampires being horrified when these old world vampires come and are still drinking blood like some sort of monster.

Write a book

rainbowcranes:

Growing up, my dad had a rule. “You can’t get a tattoo. If you do, I will make you get it removed. Unless, that is, you join the army and can shoot a seagull in the eye from a mile away, or you have a near-death experience.”

On July 12, 2011, I rode my bicycle to the camp I worked at. On my way home, I rode down a hill, and stopped at the bottom. I looked both ways, and there was no car coming. I started to turn left when I got hit by a car going ~55 miles per hour. I completely shattered the windshield, and when the driver stopped, I was ejected back onto the road. The doctors in the emergency room were absolutely perplexed when I arrived, because they all agreed that I should have died, and they were amazed to release me 4 and a half hours later with only 16 stitches, a concussion, and a chipped tooth. During my recovery, I was angry and confused. A couple if days after my accident, I received cards from my eight year old campers. One of them drew a giant paper crane, and said, “if you fold a thousand paper cranes, you’ll get better”. 

Not being able to read, ride a bicycle, or put stress on my body, I cut up an old sudoku puzzle, went on YouTube, and learned how to make a paper crane. By the end of the day, I had a laundry basket full of black and white paper cranes. 
I kept making paper cranes, even after I made a thousand, and I ran into a dilemma. What do you do with paper cranes once you’ve made them? A girl in my class had committed suicide the same day I had my accident, and I brought a purple crane to her wake. Her family could not have been happier the moment I presented them with this crane. Something clicked in my head right there. I started giving them to people and hiding them in random places for people to find. I started making art with them, and they became a major part of who I was. 

This tattoo is symbolic of my accident, and could not represent me any better.

"Hi. I’m Ted Mosby. In exactly forty-five days from now, you and I are gonna meet. And we’re gonna fall in love. And we’re gonna get married, and… we’re gonna have two kids. And we’re gonna love them and each other so much. All of that is forty-five days away. But I’m here now, I guess, because I want those extra forty-five days. With you, I want each one of them. […] Because… I love you. I’m always gonna love you. ‘Til the end of my days, and beyond.

(Source: chloeharrris)